Frosty the Snow Monster....

Okay, I'm not in the mood to be poetic--nor am I interested in even trying to write, so consider this blog a simple rant, and either read it or shut the fudge up...yes, I am not in a great mood, and that, my friend (or enemy, whichever) is a rarity for me. I am normally a witty and smile ridden gal, with little to ask for other than some fun and giggles once in a while. But why the hell didn't anyone bother to inform me that living in a town where it is colder than shit most of the time between the months of November and May...and, as in the case of today, we receive gifts from the heavens of over a foot of god awful mushy freezing and annoying crap called SNOW.
Of course no two snowflakes are alike, as they are made by non-human monsters in an attempt to make you smile when you first see them, all pretty and white...and then, months later, when your propane bill is a gazillion dollars (yes, I am aware that gazillion is not actually a number, you fool!), and the mere thought of trudging aimlessly to your car and driving, NO--SLIDING down the road to the local store to purchase some awful frozen food that is costing you three times what it would if you would have done some actual grocery shopping in town before this blizzard hit...is just too much to take. Thank god for canned soup and yogurt, which I awlays buy too much of...yogurt because it is yummy and good for me, and canned soup because isn't that what you are supposed to stock up on when on sale for a buck a can during the winter??? My mom would be proud...but if I have to eat one more can of that Cambell's "MMMmmm Good" friggin' soup, well...it won't be pretty.
Breathe....there, that's better. Oh, and to top it all off, I have insomnia...so I am surfing the internet aimlessly, trying to amuse my sleepless head whilst my eyes are so dry and tired that all I want to do is make a stiff drink and pass out...NOW THERE'S A GOOD IDEA!!! I wonder what Vanilla Vodka and Tomato juice will taste like? Screw that, i'll be a "real woman" and just have a good jigger of Vanilla Vodka, straight up...with a little Kahlua...and a bit of milk...and some ice...(and I'm not even gonna spell check, so there! We shall see if all of that tuition to a Catholic school was money well spent...god knows I've needed a shrink to get rid of the guilt it bestowed upon me...) Cheers...